Who am I to believe in true love when I’ve never seen an example of it in true life?
When had a fairytale romance played before me so that I may lust after a similar reprise in my favor?
Short answer: never.
I am alone and this is my fairytale.
One where I am the villain destined to be alone.
The chatter is loud
With long fingers
That peel my eyelids open
That force me to watch
An imaginary scene
Play before me
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
then the world glitters before me
Dried they fall rather quickly.
Stomped beneath the feet of passersby.
None of who knew that they were once a symbol for love.
Dried husks of affection.
Nothing more than aged vegetation scattered down dirty streets.
Even nesting birds ignore the rubbish.
But I swear, I was once adored.
My petals fragrant, jewel-toned and the texture of velvet on skin.
Not a memory anymore.
Now a nuisance the wind blew up into your face.
I’m on edge
A gust of wind could knock me over
Send me to my death.
I bet I’d soar.
the wind would catch in my hair
and I’d glide through the sky
sunshine on my back.
I’m so on edge
my teeth will crack under the strain of my smile.
I can run a mile on a whim.
I feel electric and beautiful today.
I want kisses and soft touches
I want. I want. I want.
I want one coherent thought.
I want my medicine to help me focus.
I could scream with all these thoughts
rushing through my mind at once.
I want to be normal.
I have an obsessive personality. I don’t know other people who are bipolar so… beats me if this is normal or not. Addiction runs in my family (drugs and alcohol) but with me, it can be anything. Snapchat for example. I downloaded it and I compulsively check it every few minutes to see if there are any updates. It interrupts my life. And it isn’t just that that. This can happen with anything or even anyone. Someone will become so important to me but I don’t even know them. I’m an attractive woman and in a committed relationship but I want the attention. Men, women, likes, comments. It can be exhausting to be honest. This weekend I’ll see if I can put my phone away for a bit.
Blurred and spiraling downward.
I’m falling into the sky.
Hanging onto a dream with a wish.
No actions or drive necessary.
Gravity pulling me skyward.
Have I always been afraid to fly?